All of your experience shapes who you are. Pain, fear, happiness, all are within you.
Do not fear yourself, not give too much attention to any one aspect.
An adventure is something bad that happens to someone else, while you witness it
from the comfort of a chair.
Christian rock tends to be like light beer. It doesn't quite do anything for me and
I still have to go to the bathroom.
Everyone's cross is a different size and just as heavy to them.
Every relationship prepares you for the next one. And all I can say is 'Next!'
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. I have lots of experience.
Fear is like a broken piece from a mirror. If you gaze at it, it reflects back at you, distorting
what you see. The harder you hold onto it, the deeper it cuts you.
'Have fun' is my primary directive. What is yours?
I don't do do drama. If you want drama, watch TNT.
If everyone and everything around you displeases you, you are the source of the problem.
I grew up in the Mid-West. Now, I like snow on a postcard. If I get cold, I can burn the postcard.
I like children:
If they are cooked properly
Roasting slowly on a spit.
They are very versatile; they go equally well with pork or fish.
I used to be FINE, but now I am GOOD.
FINE = F'd up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.
GOOD = Getting Over Obstacles Daily
If you are not happy today, what did you do wrong?
If you believe that you do not need help, you are already beyond it.
If you feel the need to seek an external fix for an internal issue, you are looking in the wrong direction.
If you have to say, 'It's not that bad', it's that bad.
If you lack the time to help another, do not expect to receive it yourself.
Know your limits. Respect them. Even the best parachute can only take so much weight.
If you focus too intently on a single piece, you will always fail to see the whole picture.
If you take life too seriously all of the time, you are doing it wrong.
Life does not come with an owner's manual. Nor an extended warranty.
Life is a test that not all are meant to pass. Some should not even lift the pencil.
Life is too short to watch a bad movie or read a bad book.
If what you are doing does not please you, do something else.
I'm not prejudiced; I hate everybody equally.
In nomine Dei Succarum, ego benedicas haec Krispy Kreme donuts, et absolvat ab
omni eos nocentibus ut faciant ad. (In the name of the God of Sugar, I bless these
Krispy Kreme doughnuts and absolve them of all harm they may do to me.)
Life is what happens while you are not paying attention.
Life should be fun. That should be your primary goal. Everyone has their own idea of fun.
If yours collides with another's, let them play with their toys while you play with yours.
If they like yours, share with them. Strive to exist peacefully with those around you.
Money cannot make you happy. However, it can make you happier.
Never rely upon another to make you happy or complete. You must be happy with yourself,
before others will be happy with you.
Nothing in life worth having is cheap or easy to acquire. Just because you are willing to work
for something doesn't mean you will get it.
People either love me, hate me, or flee to protect their sanity. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
I find the last option the most amusing.
Some people should not be allowed access to the internet and a keyboard without adult
supervision, no matter how old they are.
The best way to help yourself, is to help someone else.
The expression is 'take offense' for a reason. Do not pick up a burden that someone
did not intend for you to have.
There are many lesser emotions, when you wield one, you are cut the deepest.
The world is full of pain and sorrow. Life is fleeting and true moments of joy are few
and far between. Happiness is laced with shards of pain. One must search for and
cherish the small pieces of joy they might find.
They don't let blind people drive on the Autobahn. Why do they let people who cannot
comprehend English post on a forum with those who can?
Time is the only resource you possess with an unknown supply. Do not waste it unintentionally.
Where ever you go, there you are. You cannot run from your problems; your baggage will always
be delivered promptly.
Today is the last day of your life, as far as you know. Do not waste it.
Your brain is your most valuable possession. Cherish it and exercise it daily.
What the Acronyms REALLY mean:
BART - Barely Adequate, Rarely Timely
DMV - Dimwits Must Verify (information they can't comprehend)
PETA - Poorly Educated Thugs and Assholes
TSA - Those Stupid Assholes!
RPRBMP - My Random Punishment/Reward Behavior Modification Program